8 Ways To Stop Over-Apologising | sheerluxe.com

8 Ways To Stop Over-Apologising

How many times do you say ‘sorry’ each day? The number would probably surprise you. Women apologise far more than men, and often unnecessarily. From “I’m sorry to bother you…”, to apologising for standing in someone’s way, we use the phrase to smooth social tension and rid the fear of rejection – even when we haven’t done anything wrong.

But all those ‘sorrys’ are actually public rejections of oneself, and can easily make self-critical thoughts a whole lot worse. SL contributor and clinical psychologist Dr Jessamy Hibberd explains how to stop apologising and feel better about yourself as a result… 

Have Confidence In Yourself 

When you start with “I’m sorry”, it minimises others confidence in what you’re saying. Most of the time we know we’re right, but we add in a passive tone. Make a conscious decision about what you want to communicate.

Say What You Think

Don’t apologise before stating your opinion. Being true to yourself and expressing how you feel isn’t something you should feel sorry about.

Ask For What You Want

If someone hasn’t got back to you, there’s no need to apologise for chasing them. You’re the one waiting – don’t be afraid to ask them what’s happening. You can still be polite without using the word sorry.

On a Similar Note

It’s OK To Say No 

It’s so easy to say yes to everything as a way to keep everyone happy, but it can mean you over commit and end up feeling overwhelmed. It’s OK to say no: you don’t have to feel guilty for thinking about your own needs.

Take Off The Pressure

There’s no need to always reply to people immediately. Instead of apologising for the delayed response, just reply. People used to post letters – now we feel like we need to reply in the hour. 

Switch Sorry For Thank You

Instead of “I’m sorry”, try “thank you”… for being patient, for being kind, for being a good friend.

Ask For Help

If you don’t know how to do something or need help, simply ask. There’s nothing to apologise for.

Save Sorry For When It Matters

Use sorry for what it’s really meant for: owning up for something that you did that you know was wrong and you regret. When you do use it, make it count.

Sign up to Dr Jessamy’s FREE Five Day Happiness Challenge

Inspiration Credits: UnEventful.me, BeautyNineToFive.com
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