5 Signs Your Relationship Is Built To Last | sheerluxe.com

5 Signs Your Relationship Is Built To Last

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Relationships can be hard at the best of times, but when you think you’ve finally met the one, how do you know they’re for keeps? Countless articles claim to reveal the tell-tale signs your relationship is set to go the distance, but with most of them stating the obvious we decided to delve deeper. To get the lowdown on what really makes a relationship last, we turned to Max Blumberg, psychologist and researcher at London’s Goldsmith’s University, and Samantha Evans, sexual health and wellbeing expert and co-owner of sex toy retailer Jo Divine.

From having an argument to opening up about your sex life, here are five sure-fire signs your relationship is built to last. 

You Resolve Arguments

According to Max, “If there’s no conflict it could be a sign that the relationship is really dull – or that one of you might be walking all over the other.” So if you’re one of those couples who avoid arguments at all costs, you might want to think again. The secret to a happy relationship is about resolving conflict in the right way.

“It’s necessary to have an argument in a relationship – but the key is the ratio. And it's also important that the conflicts are being resolved properly. Good conflict resolution comes from being able to air your differences in an 'unemotional way'.” But can we really argue without emotion? The trick, according to Max, is “to wait at least three or four hours before your chemicals re-balance and that wild feeling subsides so you can discuss the matter calmly.”

You Have Make Up Sex

So, you’ve waited for your frustration to subside – now what? “Having make up sex is a good thing – and from a female perspective it’s critical,” says Max, but he adds that it's important to resolve your conflicts verbally before you jump under the sheets. Worried about a dwindling sex life? Samantha has a few simple tricks for keeping the passion alive: “Wearing sexy lingerie, taking a long bath or shower together, setting a date night each week to have sex, and taking a romantic break together are great ways to up the ante.”

She adds that talking about your sexual needs will only enhance your experiences. “Couples who talk to each other about their sexual needs and say I love you often tend to have more sex and more orgasms than those who don’t. Keeping the flames of desire going in a long-term relationship takes time and effort; it doesn’t just automatically continue in the same way it did when you first met. If what once worked for you sexually no longer hits the spot, tell your partner and explore other ways in which to enjoy sexual intimacy and pleasure together.”

On a Similar Note

You’re Happy Doing Nothing

The start of a relationship is always exciting – you book romantic mini-breaks and dine in style at your favourite restaurants. But once the honeymoon period is over, can you still retain that same sense of romance? According to Max, none of this really matters. The key is to make the most of your time doing absolutely nothing together, and finding romance in other, less extravagant ways. Curl up on the sofa and indulge in an evening of Netflix, or take a quick stroll around the park. “It's about finding someone you can muck along with. It's a very practical type of relationship – but studies show they work”.

According to a recent survey, 33% of British couples spend less than 30 minutes of quality time together each day. In another poll, 2,000 people found that despite being in committed relationships, they were spending less than 2% of their normal working day in their partner's company. Samantha says the key to a happy, successful relationship is to simply make time for one another: “Rather than choosing more extravagant trips to the theatre and having dinner out, many strong couples just want to spend time at home, enjoying a meal together or watching their favourite show on TV.”

You Talk About The Relationship

“If you can’t talk about the relationship, it's not good sign,” says Max. “It often means there are issues bubbling under the surface.” So be sure to take time out and talk about your feelings. Max recommends sitting down for a heart-to-heart every six months or so to talk about the things bothering you, or just to reassure one another that you both still care. Every successful relationship is about communicating and understanding each other – a lack of engagement can leave you feeling lonely.

Samantha says talking about your feelings and emotions will undoubtedly bring you closer together, particularly in the bedroom. “It’s not always easy to talk about sex with a partner because we don’t want to criticise so it’s best to frame things in a positive way – explain what you enjoy and what you’d like to try.”

Your Friends Approve

Getting your friends’ seal of approval is so important when it comes to feeling content in your relationship. If they think he’s bad for you, your friends will be honest and tell you the truth. Similarly, if they think he’s a keeper, they’ll be sure to sing his praises. “If you find it hard to trust your own gut then you need to listen to your friends, your mum or other members of your family,” says Max. “Don’t listen to one friend, who might have an issue, but try to get a general sense from a few.” If you want honest, truthful advice, look to the friends you know you’ll be falling back on if it all goes wrong.

 

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