Breadcrumbs ![The Truth About Sex After Giving Birth](https://media.sheerluxe.com/xBhAU_as2WQ_PCnuv8NDzEtXqZ4=/800x0/smart/https%3A%2F%2Fsheerluxe.com%2Fsites%2Fsheerluxe%2Ffiles%2Farticles%2F2026%2F10%2Fsl-site-assets-231026-sex-postpartum-the-questions-women-are-too-embarrassed-to-ask-hero-thumb.jpg) ![The Truth About Sex After Giving Birth](https://media.sheerluxe.com/mVt77ODAmHyB8cLkqjbvdMazJEs=/400x0/smart/https%3A%2F%2Fsheerluxe.com%2Fsites%2Fsheerluxe%2Ffiles%2Farticles%2F2026%2F10%2Fsl-site-assets-231026-sex-postpartum-the-questions-women-are-too-embarrassed-to-ask-hero-thumb.jpg) Image: Jess Craven/Stocksy United / 23 October 2026 # The Truth About Sex After Giving Birth After having a baby, changes to your body, hormones and sex life can raise plenty of questions – but knowing where to turn for answers isn’t always easy. From when you can safely have sex again to vaginal dryness, postnatal pain and changes in desire, consultant gynaecologist Dr Lamia Zafrani answers the questions many new mums may feel uncomfortable asking. ByRebecca Hull / [ Save To My Favourites ](/user/login?destination=/markdownify/node/54597) Image: Jess Craven/Stocksy United ### How soon is “too soon” postpartum? “Everyone worries about a fixed date to have sex postpartum. The answer is, there isn’t one – certainly not one that applies to all. As a general rule, I’d wait until your postnatal bleeding (locha) has stopped. It’s worth waiting for tears, grazes and stitches to heal too, which is often around six weeks. The six-week check is a useful milestone but try to remember that it isn’t a gate that has to be unlocked before you can have sex. Readiness is as much emotional as it is physical. Having sex too early, before you’ve healed, carries a higher risk of infection and discomfort too, so there’s no prize for rushing. It really is a case of when you’re ready. One key thing is to sort out contraception early. You can quite easily conceive before your six week appointment – to many people’s surprise.” ### Why does sex sometimes feel painful for a long time after giving birth? “Sex can feel painful even once stitches or tears have healed because while the surface of the skin looks and feels OK, it doesn’t mean everything underneath has settled. Scar tissue can feel tight or hypersensitive and the pelvic floor muscles often become overactive and act like a ‘guard’ after birth, which is what makes penetration painful. On top of that, once sex has hurt once, the body anticipates pain and tenses further, creating a cycle. None of this means something is wrong with you but it does mean it’s worth addressing properly rather than gritting your teeth through it – a pelvic health physiotherapist is often the most useful referral if the pain continues.” ### What can be done about vaginal dryness? “A lot of women don’t know this but breastfeeding causes low oestrogen which upsets the vaginal tissue. This creates a temporary, menopause-like dryness – it’s physiological and not something you’ve done wrong. A good lubricant (water or silicone-based only after birth) can help and a regular moisturiser, which can be prescribed. If that isn’t enough, topical vaginal estrogen is safe and effective even while breastfeeding and can again be prescribed by your GP. Dryness typically resolves once breastfeeding stops.” ### Is it normal for the vagina to feel different & can my partner tell? “Some change to the vagina after birth is normal – think about what you’ve been through. It’s also the same for those who have a C-section as pregnancy-related pressure still affects the strength of the vagina and the area around it. The tissues and pelvic floor have stretched and things can feel different for a while. The good news is that it normally improves over the following weeks, months and even up to a year postpartum, particularly with pelvic floor rehabilitation. A sense of ‘looseness’ is usually about pelvic floor tone, which is trainable. Remember it’s a muscle, so it can be tightened with practice. In my experience, women worry about their partner noticing far more than partners actually report it. However, like anything medical, always report it and get an assessment if you’re concerned.” ### Can sex reopen stitches or damage the area? “Once the area has fully healed – which usually takes up to three weeks – it’s very unlikely that sex will reopen any stitches or cause damage. The reason I advise waiting to have sex until you’ve healed is precisely because there is a risk of reopening prior to this. After birth and stitches, scar tissue can feel tight and tender, so go gently. If you see any open wounds or suffer with sharp pains or offensive discharge, get a review by your GP as soon as possible. Remember postpartum women (within the six-week timeframe) are prioritised in the NHS, so don’t put off being seen.” ### What are some safe positions after a C-section? “C-section births and sex follow the same timeline as vaginal births. A common question is whether there are certain positions which are more comfortable, given the major abdominal surgery. Sometimes you do need to prioritise your scar and core, so positions where you control the depth and pace are worth trying until you’re recovered. Being on top and side-lying positions tend to keep the pressure off your scar.” ### What should you do if penetration feels unbearable or causes a burning sensation? “Don’t push through or simply put up with it. Sharp, burning pain or feeling unable to have sex often points toward an overactive pelvic floor that’s guarding itself. It also points towards scar tissue and low-oestrogen dryness – all of this is genuinely treatable. Please see your GP and advocate for yourself – specifically advocate for seeing a pelvic health physiotherapist, which is something all women should do postpartum. In the meantime, don’t have sex if it’s painful; it will only reinforce muscle tension.” ### Why might you experience bleeding during sex months after birth? “A small amount in the early weeks, while tissue heals and your cervix is sensitive, is quite normal. But bleeding after sex that is new, persistent, heavy or appears months down the line should be evaluated. It can be caused by fragile, low-oestrogen tissue or granulation tissue at a scar, both of which can be treated. Sometimes other things need ruling out, so an assessment is key. It’s also worth noting bleeding after sex can be the result of changes to the cervix. Often this can be innocent but it can be a sign of abnormal cells, so again, see your GP and always stay up to date with smears.” ### What if you have no desire to have sex postpartum? “This is common and almost always multifactorial, so it isn’t good to pin the answer on one thing. Hormones play a massive part – oestrogen is low and if you breastfeed, prolactin is high, both of which dampen desire. Then there is the sheer exhaustion, broken sleep, fear of pain and mental load of caring for a newborn. Many women also feel ‘touched out’ by the end of the day, which is a real phenomenon, not a character flaw. For most, desire does return as your sleep and hormones recover. Postnatal depression can play a part but this is more if the feelings are persistent and sitting alongside very low moods. Be open with your partner and remember that in time, more often than not, things will slowly return to normal.” ### Any advice if you feel self-conscious about your body after giving birth? “Everyone feels this to a degree after giving birth. Your body has done something significant and it’s important to remember this, rather than rushing to ‘get it back.’ Honest communication with your partner, going at your own pace and stepping away from comparisons to your prebaby self will really help. I also advise staying away from online ‘help’ and focusing on yourself. Connect with other mothers too – this can help as a shared experience will help you better understand all these concerns and worries are completely normal and part of the process” ### Is it common to leak urine during sex when you’re postpartum? “Yes it’s common, particularly in the first two months. However, common isn’t the same as normal and it’s not something you should live with. If it is happening continually after you’ve given birth, you need to see an expert. As I’ve mentioned, pelvic floor exercises will help but only a trained physiotherapist can assess what you really need and what will work if you’re leaking continually. It’s often due to an overly tense pelvic floor, rather than a weak one, so the right training really matters.” ### Any final advice? “It’s simple: don’t put up with any symptom that is affecting your life or your relationship past a reasonable amount of time. Your body and your mind deserve assessment – not endurance. Specifically, pain that persists beyond the initial six-week period should be assessed by a medical professional. Likewise, any sharp and severe bleeding or offensive odours need checking, as does a loss of sensation that doesn’t improve gradually. As for more severe things – like a fever or any signs of feeling severely unwell – could suggest infection. The good news is almost all of these things are treatable and often straightforward but the mistake is waiting or assuming you have to sit tight.” *Visit* [DRLAMIAZAFRANI.COM](https://drlamiazafrani.com/) ***DISCLAIMER**: Features published by SheerLuxe are not intended to treat, diagnose, cure or prevent any disease. 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