15 Expert Tips For Building Confidence At University
Try visualisation
“If you’re feeling nervous about being in a new environment or social situation, take a few moments to visualise yourself there. Visualisation practices are so powerful because the brain can't tell the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. So, if you visualise your desired outcome – for example, seeing yourself at a university social, chatting to new people and having a great time – you are not only more likely to believe that you can achieve this, but you’re also preparing your mind and your nervous system for the event, so when it actually happens you’ll feel calmer and more confident. Practice visualisation regularly and make it super vivid, engaging all of your senses as if you’re really there in that moment. As you do this, your brain starts to establish new neural pathways, as if you’re actually doing it rather than just visualising it.” – Ciara McGinley, meditation practitioner and founder of Finding Quiet
Understand social events aren’t as crucial as they seem
“Freshers Week is the start of university life and while it’s often hyped up as a non-stop party, it doesn’t have to be that way – especially if you’re more into the chilled vibe than crazy club nights. If big crowds and late-night parties aren’t your thing then focus on what you actually enjoy. Try new stuff if you’re up for it but give yourself permission to bail if it’s not your scene. Take breaks when you need to and remember, it’s totally fine to pace yourself and find your own groove. Freshers Week doesn’t have to be the ‘best week of your life’, just make it a week that feels right for you.” – Hope Flynn, FHEA (Fellow of Higher Education Academy), lecturer at London College of Contemporary Arts & founder of female empowerment community & platform FeedMeFemale
“University social events can feel like a big deal in the moment, but it’s important to remember that these moments won’t define your entire university experience. It’s okay if you don’t attend every event or if some social interactions don’t go as planned. The pressure you might feel now will likely fade over time, so try to keep things in perspective and give yourself grace.” – Dr Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist & co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic.
Recognise your strengths
“Introverts often excel in deep thinking, creativity, and listening. Embrace these qualities and understand that you bring unique perspectives to group discussions. You don’t need to be the loudest person in the room to make a positive impact.” – Naomi Magnus, psychotherapist at North London Therapy
Make friends with an extrovert
“Partnering up with an extrovert can be a great strategy. Extroverts often thrive in social settings and can help ease you into conversations and social circles. By tagging along with them to events or gatherings, you can meet more people without feeling the pressure to always initiate. Plus, their energy can be contagious, helping you feel more at ease in new environments.” – Dr Elena
Join clubs & societies
“Of course, one of the easiest ways to meet like-minded people at university is by joining clubs or societies that align with your interests. Whether it’s a book club, sports team, or volunteering group, these environments naturally foster connections.” – Dr Elena
“University is the time to explore your interests. There’s a club for just about everything. Astronomy, chess, birdwatching – the list is endless, so don’t be disheartened if you don’t find your tribe straight away.” – Jordan
Start a study group on WhatsApp
“Create a WhatsApp group for your friends on your course. Gather phone numbers, send a message to introduce yourself, and suggest setting up weekly study sessions, whether that’s in the library or at a local coffee shop.” – Naomi
“This can be a low-pressure way to introduce yourself… It can also help ease the transition into in-person interactions, as you’ll already have a sense of familiarity with the group.” – Dr Elena
Prepare a few conversation starters
“Small talk can feel daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. One way to make it easier is to focus on asking open-ended questions. Having a few conversation starters up your sleeve can make social interactions feel less daunting. Think about some general topics you feel comfortable discussing, like a recent film or a hobby, so you’re ready when the opportunity arises. Try out open-ended questions to help the conversation flow, instead of the usual ‘How are you?’ try something like ‘What’s been the highlight of your week so far?’" – Dr Elena
Let them talk
“If shyness is an issue, then it suggests a fear of being judged or rejected on first impression – it's a mild (or sometimes extreme) type of social anxiety. It may seem counter-intuitive, but one way to overcome the fear is to try to lead the conversation by showing curiosity in the person or people you find yourself with. Navigate the conversation in such a way that makes them talk about their life, interests, family, studies or whatever else they're interested in. Hopefully you'll find some commonalities that'll then create natural openings for you to share some information too and before long you'll be in a relaxed, two-way conversation." – Maryam Meddin, founder & CEO of The Soke
Know it’s okay to eat alone
“University isn’t like secondary school where sitting alone might be seen as awkward. Many students eat alone while catching up on reading or just enjoying some downtime. Embrace the freedom to dine solo if that’s what you prefer – it’s a perfectly normal part of university life, and no one is judging you for it.” – Dr Elena
Make time for yourself
“University can be stressful, so it’s important to practise self-care. Make time for activities that relax and energise you, like reading, walking, or listening to music. This helps maintain your mental health and keeps you feeling balanced. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to more extroverted peers who may seem to make friends effortlessly. Remember that everyone adjusts to university life at their own pace. Focus on your own journey and progress.” – positive psychology coach, Elle Mace
Find a safe space
“For introverts, having a comfortable, quiet place to study is essential. Find a spot on campus where you feel at ease, whether it’s a library, a quiet café, or a peaceful outdoor area. This will become your go-to place for recharging and focusing.” – Elle
Use headphones to take a break
“Using headphones to zone out can be a lifesaver when it comes to building confidence. They really can help you carve out your own little bubble in the middle of all the campus chaos, making it easier to stay focused and chilled. Plus, they’re a subtle way to say, “I’m in my zone," which can help you avoid small talk when you’re not feeling it. Whether you’re vibing to your favourite playlist or tuning into a podcast, headphones can give you that extra control by creating your own little personal space. You can then save your social energy for when you really want to use it, which makes it easier to tackle the day with confidence.” – Hope
Plan your socialising ahead of time
“Spontaneous plans can be stressful, especially when you're more introverted. So why not plan social activities a few days in advance? It gives you time to get used to the idea, making it feel less daunting. It lets you balance social time with your much needed alone time so you won’t feel drained. It helps cut down on anxiety by giving you a heads-up and making things feel more manageable. By scheduling events that suit your interests, you can ease into socialising at your own pace and avoid feeling overwhelmed by those last-minute plans. It’s all about having a bit of control and making your social life more enjoyable and less stressful. Uni is about having fun and learning, so learn how to manage your anxieties in the best way possible.” – Hope
Seek out your professors for one-to-one sessions
“One-on-one meetings with professors offer you the chance to gain valuable insights and build meaningful relationships that can open doors to new opportunities. Most have designated times for student meetings, which is an ideal opportunity for one-to-ones. Determine what you want to achieve from the meeting and go prepared – it may help to rehearse a little beforehand. Practise what you want to say, and write down questions or topics you want to discuss. Whether it’s course material, advice on assignments or exploring research opportunities, having a clear objective can ease anxiety.” – Lucia Santa Maria, life coach at LuciaSantaMaria.life
Finally, remember everyone is in the same boat
“New faces, places and routines can send some students spiralling with their mental health. We all build routines when we are living at home with our family, but this new shift can throw routines off… It’s important to remember that the stranger – new housemate or course-mate – is a human too, going through the same nerve-wracking process. Hopefully they will become a friend or good support throughout this transition.” – Jordan Calabrese, medical director at Sana Lake Recovery
Inspiration credits: @MindYourBusinessOfficial | @MinkaDinkLondon | @FilippZorz | @MatildaDjerf | @Amaka.Hamelijnck
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