3 Working Mums On How They Juggle Kids & A Career

Prioritise ruthlessly. Every couple of months I reassess what is important at that time – it may be winning a new client or helping my little one settle into school. It can also be more than one thing. I then use those priorities as a way to allocate my time. If there is something on my to-do list that doesn’t fit into my top priorities, I move it further down the list. I stopped trying to do everything a long time ago. I’m also getting better at syncing the school calendar to my work calendar, so my team can see where I may need flexibility. 

Be honest with your children. I’m very open with mine about the demands of being a mum who works outside of the home. They have seen where I work and have met my colleagues. Even though they are quite young, it’s important that I take them on the journey with me so they see that I am building a career to provide for them. 

Accept that it takes a village. I’m very lucky that I live close to my parents, and they have saved us many times when both my husband and I have not been able to make school pickup. Equally, when we need time away from the little ones, they are often on hand to help. We also have additional help on an ad-hoc basis. 

Find a job with a flexible policy. At our company, you don’t have to be a parent to access flexibility, but parents feel empowered to flex their hours to get the job done but also be there for family when they need to be. Conversely, if you don’t have children, you are still afforded the benefits of flexibility, making it fair across the board. 

Invest in self-care. I love to get up early and get some movement in. It’s the one time when I feel I’m working on me – I’m not mum or an employee. Just me. I plan my workouts ahead of time to reduce the barriers to finding the time. Fashion is also a love of mine, so getting dressed up whenever I leave the house is certainly an act of self-care.

Work on what isn’t working. I deeply believe in the importance of rest, but I find it hard to rest until my body forces me to slow down. I am getting a bit better at recognising the signs. Meanwhile, I’m on a continuous journey when it comes to confidence. I have big goals and often put pressure on myself to achieve them or question if I can make them happen. I do think it’s linked to the challenge of not always seeing a plethora of Black women, who are also mothers, in leadership. I have found coaching to be extremely valuable to help me build my confidence, as well as investing in myself through courses and reading. 

Find a purpose. I know what I want for my family and for the future of my children, so the reason why I work has become very clear. Moreover, it’s helped me understand I have to enjoy what I do if I am going to spend time away from the kids. 

Don’t feel you have to justify yourself. Ambition is deeply personal, so don’t let others around you define what your ambitions are now that you are a mum. If you have big dreams or goals for your life and your family, don’t let motherhood dampen them. Sure, you may have to adapt how you go about achieving them, but you can get there. Don’t seek the perfect equilibrium of balance either – it doesn’t exist. See your life as a blend, a mix of different elements at different times depending on the season. Take the ingredients or the support that you need to get through the different stages, and don’t be ashamed about asking for help.

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Learn to delegate. Everyone has the same 24 hours – you can’t do everything yourself. When you have a family and run your own business, delegating becomes normal practice. I try to work when my four-year-old son is sleeping or at nursery and make the best of that time – there is no place for procrastination.

Don’t let yourself get overwhelmed. With or without children, running your own company is so demanding and, if you add children into the mix, it’s easy to feel like it’s too much. The sooner you understand you can’t do everything yourself, the more efficient you become, so you can focus on the things you are the best at. Running a family house is a full-time job and all stay-at-home mums know this all too well. We value having help at home to make sure we can focus on our child as much as we can, and that helps us balance work and family time. 

Go with the – crazy – flow. They say when you have your own company you just can go with the flow, but sometimes the flow can be like crazy rapids. Flexible working hours aren’t all they’re cracked up to be either – you end up working all the time. I really enjoy working in the office, which allows me to separate work and family. When I come back home, I love to disconnect and play with my child full-time, cook and try not to go back to my computer if possible.  

Do the things that let you be your best self at work. I heard somewhere that, when you run your own company, you shouldn’t neglect your daily workout. I start the day by doing what keeps me physically and mentally healthy. It’s the only way I can give the best of myself at work, and be able to look after my family and enjoy every minute. 

See the power in motherhood. When I became a mother, my son helped me not only be better at what we do as a company, but to love it even more. We run a family business, so when he arrived, we started taking him with us as much as we could to photoshoots, brand events and travelling. Having a child makes you slow down, and at the same time helps you see things you didn’t see before, i.e. to be more creative and think out of the box.

Let your children see how you much you love what you do. That will help them look for the same kind of fulfilment when they grow up – they’ll understand that what they do for work should make them happy. If you really enjoy what you do in life, even if it takes up a lot of your time, it will rub off on them.

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Prioritise what needs you most at that specific time of day or week or month. It’s important not to have the expectation that you’ll be able to give everything 100% all the time. Farm out all the minor decision making to others. For example, I don’t think about what to eat for lunch or dinner every day. Those are things I leave to someone else to figure out, so I can prioritise what needs me more. 

Implement a support system. I live in London where we have no family help. Both my husband’s and my family are spread out around the world, so all our support here is largely paid for. Our schools and nanny are definitely sources of strength when it comes to balancing the household. 

Try to find a flexible work system. I became a mother in a law firm pre-pandemic, so I had a few years of pure grind where it would be Monday to Fridays in the office, working long hours. Working from home just wasn’t an option. Our new way of working has had many beneficiaries, but I do think working parents have benefited greatly from it. The obvious things are having time to pick up or drop off my children, but ultimately it’s things like being able to work remotely or on holiday with them.

Don’t let yourself burn out. I recently went through a physical and mental burnout and had to relearn a lot of self-care. I thought it was enough to just do my skincare routine and have a massage every once in a while, but I soon realised it’s more mental than that. Now I do meditation, say positive affirmations, and prioritise 15-20 minutes of exercise every day.

Try not to look at the negatives. It can feel frustrating never being able to fully do anything or feeling impatient with my children. It’s mostly self-inflicted, but time is so hard to come by. I don’t have a silver bullet, but I do think managing your expectations is key, so is being clear on what you want to achieve in each area. Through my affirmations, I remind myself what I want out of each area of my life and don’t attach myself to how we get there. 

Figure out what you want in each area of your life and act adoringly. Some working mums would be happy with a part-time gig, and some want to start another venture. Either way, figure out the objective then work backwards. Also, find a partner who appreciates the working career woman you are. It is so important to feel valued – especially at a time when you might have the least confidence in yourself.

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