From Downsizing To Relocating – How To Follow Your Midlife Dream

“I didn’t want to live in a flat that was converted from a Victorian house as I felt I would be constantly mourning the fact that I used to live in a whole Victorian house! For a while we looked at new builds, which I’m not against at all, but the ones we saw all had rules that you can’t park a car and, as we drive to Italy, that wouldn’t work for us. In the end, we found a Victorian worker’s cottage a few streets from our old house. It needed a lot of work (more than we thought when we first saw it) but we were ready to take it on. 

“Although I have a style – vintage furniture and tonal décor – I never know how I will want to decorate until I am in a room or building. The previous house had high ceilings and good plasterwork, so it was more architectural in feel with strong colours, minimal pattern and simple blinds as window dressings. This house is smaller with cosier proportions so required a totally different touch. It’s how I imagine Richard Curtis would do a Victorian worker’s cottage. 

“At this stage of my life, I’m definitely more about comfort. Our last house was all floorboards and blinds. Here I have gone for sisal in the bedrooms with velvet curtains and wallpaper. We replaced all the laminate floors with dark wood boards and used reclaimed terracotta tiles in the kitchen. There are no modern spotlights anywhere; instead, we kept the wiring inside painted steel tubes on the ceiling with ceramic bulb holders. The colours are all soft pinks and terracottas, and William Morris wallpaper in the bathroom. It’s cosy and pretty and has far too much stuff in it! 

“I can imagine it’s really hard if you have lived somewhere for 20 years or more – we were only 12 in the last house – but you carry your memories with you. Your life and that of your children won’t be broken if you take your memories to a new place – and of course make new ones. I think the hardest part is the decluttering and getting rid of stuff and I can’t really speak about that as I haven’t done it. For me, the fear of rattling round a deserted house with only memories of how it used to be is stronger than the fear of moving on to the next chapter.”

“It has been a dream to buy a home in Italy ever since I met my husband in 1995 when he took me to the tiny flat his parents owned on the fourth floor of a building that was 68 hairpin bends up a mountain with a view of the sea. For a long time, we thought we would buy a holiday home but, in the end, we bought a second home – the difference is subtle but means that we go with our laptops ready to work and also we run design retreats from the house. We have both worked from home for many years, but now we might go to the village trattoria for Friday lunch rather than picking up a sandwich from the local supermarket in Crouch End. 

“For me the reality has turned out better than the expectation. The pandemic was hard for small businesses and self-employed people, and we both had difficulties. Buying a house that was far too big in another country gave us the opportunity to set up a new business at a time when our lives in London were more precarious. It was enormously lucky and quite terrifying.

“We couldn’t have taken on this renovation abroad without our brilliant architect Sarah Fronduti, of AV FR Architetti  in Turin, who project-managed the whole thing for us. Without her I think the paperwork and bureaucracy would have been overwhelming. She found the builders (via a school dad) and they have since gone on to work on several other projects together. Last Christmas, we threw a drinks party to thank them and they all came to the house with their partners and children; and then we all went out for dinner in the village. That memory makes me tearful with gratitude. 

“I think that if you are going to do a project remotely, you have to be quite visual. I can see past a pile of rubble to what the finished room will look like and therefore make a judgment about where I want the tiles – but not everyone can do that. We had a lot of WhatsApp exchanges where Sarah would photograph something and draw on it asking things like ‘do you want the pink paint to finish here, or here?’ 

“We got 99 per cent of it right. We were trying to save money, so we mostly replaced electrical switches and sockets in situ rather than adding new ones – there’s a dark spot in the top-floor sitting room that’s about 15m from the nearest socket! We have found the new generation of rechargeable battery lights to be invaluable. The tap is at the wrong end of one of the bathtubs and one of the ceiling lights is hung too high. None of it’s a disaster.”

“Italian architecture has really influenced me. Recently, I created a set of 12 paint colours with the sustainable brand Graphenstone, all based around scraps of original colours we found in the house – from the frescoes on the ceilings to the hydrangeas in the garden. The colours work well in all climates. There are several pinks, a lavender and three greens as well as two blues. I felt it was a real nod to Italian style, but a couple of visitors have said how lovely it is to see such English style transported to Italy! I guess the house and climate has influenced me to use more colour than I would do in England, but my style remains broadly the same. 

“We tried very hard to retain the spirit of this house – parts of which are 300 years old – when we redecorated. We also wanted to remember that it had been a family home since the 1960s, so we approached it with the idea of moving all that forward. In our bedroom, which was an upstairs sitting room for the previous owner, now in her 80s, we chose a Colefax & Flower  wallpaper with a wisteria design as there is a 100-year-old wisteria in the garden that she loved. Decisions like that informed all the colours we chose, but we also tried to mix in comfortable sofas rather than the more upright antiques that were there. 

“We had to re-wire and re-plumb the whole house, so we took out the small bathtubs and replaced them with big showers or free-standing baths with retro-style taps from Perrin & Rowe and Burlington. A fitted kitchen didn’t feel right, so the builders created a series of half walls that were far enough apart for appliances and we covered it all with Carrara marble worktops. We used appliances by Smeg, as that’s an Italian brand. 

“It’s perfectly possibly to mix very contemporary fixtures and fittings with old houses and that contrast can work, but you can’t do it in every room or you will lose some of the character. It’s about the tension between the two – either it’s a super-sleek kitchen in a room with an ancient fresco on the ceiling or it’s about a super-efficient set of appliances that look a little retro in style.

“One of our first visitors to the house when we had finished said she (and, I suspect, the whole village) was worried we would have painted everything white and added lots of marble. When she had looked round, she said (a huge compliment) that it didn’t look as if we had done anything much. Clearly, nothing is the same anywhere, but she felt that the essence of the house hadn’t changed, which is what we had aimed for.

“We took a lot of our London furniture over and visitors love recognising various pieces like the palm tree lamp and the pink library chairs. Having familiar things around us also makes it feel more instantly like home. We have also bought some new things, and we tend to go to the vintage markets at the weekend for art and accessories. 

“Which is my favourite room? Every time I sit in the downstairs sitting room with the fresco ceiling, I think it’s my favourite place on earth. Then I go upstairs to the green one with all the windows (my son calls it the tree house) and I change my mind. Last time we were there I painted my study and now it’s that room. When people use to ask me that question about our old London house, I used to say it was the room I had most recently decorated and I think it’s still the same now.” 

“I think the idea of a dream home will inevitably change according to what your dreams are at the time. As a young mother, my dream home involved a playroom (never had one) and proximity to a good school. Later on, it was about space for a home office (got that one) and being able to walk to the shops and see people I know to chat to on the way. For many years, I fantasised about having a kitchen big enough for a sofa (never had that either) but now I find I would really discourage anyone from that dream. As soon as you have a sofa in the kitchen you inevitably stop using the sitting room! These days I would use that space for a really great pantry instead of more seating. Then I would work hard to create the sitting room of dreams that works for everyone who wants to use it. 

“For a house to feel like a home, the elements must tell the story of the people that live there. It might be based around colours they wear or furniture they have had for many years or taken from their parents’ house. It’s not just about family photos but perhaps about a framed menu from the restaurant they went to on their first date. A house is a place, a home is a feeling and to create that feeling involves layers of things built up over many years. Also, good lighting – by which I mean lamps, not a series of rooms with big lights in the middle of the ceilings. 

“For our dream home in Italy, the non-negotiable was location. We are city people, and this house is in a village about 30 minutes from the centre of Turin. The village has two restaurants, a bar/shop, a pharmacy and a post office. Those were all important elements for us.