3 Women On How Motherhood Has Changed Them
Matrescence: A Definition
Matrescence is the emotional and psychological transition into motherhood. And unlike labour or birth, it doesn’t happen in a single moment – it unfolds slowly, often unexpectedly, as your identity begins to evolve. You might find yourself becoming more patient. Your priorities might shift. You may start seeing the world in an entirely new light. For broadcaster and mum-of-three Olivia Wayne, becoming a mother was a turning point. “Being a mum has helped me tune in to my instincts and trust my gut,” she says. “At first it was about understanding my babies – learning what they needed – but that confidence has grown into every part of my life. I’ve learned to back myself.” Learning to trust yourself – rather than chasing advice or external approval – is one of the most important lessons of motherhood.
Naming The Shift
Many new mothers describe a sense of change they can’t quite put into words. That’s why the idea of matrescence is so powerful – it gives a name to what so many of us feel but don’t always know how to explain. It reminds us that shifts in mood, energy or identity aren’t signs that something’s wrong – they’re signs something new is taking shape. “Motherhood has softened me,” says Loanne Collyer, DJ and mum to seven-month-old Jax. “It’s made me slower, more thoughtful. It’s made me re-evaluate what really matters. And just when I think I’ve got it figured out, it teaches me something new.” It’s not about losing who you were – it’s about becoming more fully who you are. “I’ve surprised myself,” Loanne says. “Even on the hard days, I’ve found a resilience I didn’t know I had. And I’ve discovered a kind of love I never imagined.”
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Unexpected Changes
Motherhood shifts so many things: how you spend your time, how you see yourself, even how you move through the day. You adapt to a new rhythm – one shaped by your baby’s needs but also by the quiet changes happening within you. “I didn’t expect to love routine so much,” says Tobi Asare, founder of My Bump Pay and mum-of-two. “Before becoming a mum, I wasn’t particularly structured. But now, routine gives us something to anchor to – it brings calm to the chaos. It doesn’t mean we can’t be spontaneous, it just helps us get through the day with a bit more ease.” It’s this balance – between structure and flexibility – that many parents come to rely on. “You stop chasing control,” Tobi says. “And start finding your own rhythm.”
And just like your little one is learning and growing, so are you. Having the right support around you makes all the difference. For those who choose to introduce formula feeds, Aptamil Advanced follow-on milk provides key nutrients like iron, which contributes to normal cognitive development, and vitamin D, which contributes to the normal function of the immune system and is suitable for formula and combination fed babies.
Getting Back To Yourself
Motherhood can shift your priorities, and at times, it can feel like a complete rearranging of who you are. Some parts of your identity may fade into the background. Others suddenly come into sharp focus. And while that change can feel disorienting at first, it can also be incredibly freeing. “You stop worrying so much about doing everything ‘right’,” says Olivia. “There’s no manual. You realise that what works for you is good enough. That’s a powerful shift.” For example, the way you decide to feed your baby can look different for each family. Some families may choose to combifeed after six months, combining breast and beaker, while trying to find the right balance for them.
Small Reminders That Can Help
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to motherhood – but these ideas might help you feel a little more grounded, especially on the tougher days…
Trust Yourself
Everyone has advice, and much of it will contradict the rest. The most important voice to listen to is your own. “Whatever works for you is the right way,” says Olivia.
Keep Things Simple
You don’t need a perfect routine or elaborate rituals. Focus on small things that make you feel like you again – a quiet shower, a walk with a podcast or a hot cup of tea. “They sound small but they add up,” says Loanne.
Find Rhythm, Not Rules
Structure helps – but it doesn’t need to be rigid. Let routines flex as your days change. “Routine can be grounding without being strict,” Tobi explains.
Get Outside
Fresh air really does help. “When the overwhelm creeps in, I take everyone outside,” says Olivia. “It clears my head every time.”
Remember, It’s All A Phase
The hard days don’t last forever. “Everything is temporary,” says Loanne. “Even when it’s exhausting, try to find one small joy in the day – it really helps.” Stylist, author and mum to one-year-old Ziggy, Zeena, agrees: “Every tricky phase really does pass. Plus, try not to get too caught up in timelines and milestones, as every baby is so different. We are unique, and so are they.”
Ask For Help
“When I became a mother, I felt like I'd joined a secret society, a club where mums were there for each other,” says Zeena. “Tips, advice, wet wipes, spare nappies, even a dummy – it’s amazing and I know how lucky I am to be a part of it. Other mums will be your lifeline, so don't be afraid to ask for help and advice or just offload. Go to the baby classes for the mums – and the caffeine too.”
The Bottom Line
Motherhood isn’t just about raising your child – it’s also about growing into a new version of yourself. Some days will feel messy, others magical. Most will be a mix of both. But with the right support – and a little trust in yourself – you’ll find your way. If you have chosen to formula feed, Aptamil Advanced Follow-on Milk is here to support you through the six to 12 months milestones. With over 50 years of research into early-life nutrition, Aptamil Advanced follow-on milk contains iron to support your baby’s development in parallel with weaning, giving you confidence through all the ups, downs and in-betweens of motherhood”
Learn more at APTACLUB.CO.UK
Aptamil Advanced Follow On Milk says breastfeeding is best for those that are able to. Follow-on milk should only be used as part of a mixed diet from six months. Talk to your healthcare professional for advice on feeding.
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