8 Parenting Lessons From Rochelle Humes

I was quite anxious about childbirth; I really hadn’t planned to have a caesarean. Our first daughter Alaia-Mai was breech, so she was effectively upside down. They tried to turn her, but it didn’t work, so my doctor advised a C-section. I went home and (stupidly) YouTubed a caesarean – I don’t know why I thought that was a good idea; I totally freaked myself out. I thought I would be like an ‘earth mum’ but as they say, “Make a plan and God laughs.” It's so true. You have to be adaptable, so be prepared for nothing to turn out quite like you had in mind.

Everybody's got their two pennies worth, and I think that can be so overwhelming as a new mum. I'm not sure if it's because I was younger when I first became a parent – maybe I was sort of seeking it out a bit. But you soon realise everyone's got a horror story and everyone you talk to is an ‘oh wait’ parent i.e. “They’re not sleeping? Oh, wait until they start teething.” Then it's: “They’re teething? Oh, wait until they start walking.” Everyone projects their own experiences onto you, often putting a negative spin on things. I’ve learnt to just face things head on, deal it with it when it comes. There’s no point dreading something before it happens. 

Between your professional life and your family life, the two worlds collide. You’re either amazing at work or you’re amazing at home but it’s impossible for all of us to tick every box every time. I’ll always be front row at the school play but I'm at peace with the fact that I have to tell them that sometimes it’s a busy week for mummy.

My company, My Little Coco, is like my fourth baby. It came out of my frustration with the lack of premium diverse products on the high street. Plus, there were some products that you could use for three-year-olds but not newborns – my toddler is just as precious to me as my baby, don’t they both deserve the best? Now, we’re expanding to create clean beauty that appeals to bigger kids, around 11 – Alaia’s age. We’ve actually been working on this product together – she’s sat in with the team and been a little creative director. 

It’s really important for me to show my kids that I'm their mum, but I also do have a career and am a provider. I’ve had a life, I've got stories. I like them to see the balance of that – particularly my daughters. My mum had me at 21. She was really hands on with all of us, but also worked a million jobs and I've kept up that momentum. 

There is no typical day for us – I wish there was a way we could have a little more structure. Marvin now has a new job within radio, so he often does the school run. But basically, we’re winging it. We sit down on a Sunday and go through the diary, so that’s all worked out. It's especially tricky now when they’ve got so much time off school and work isn’t slowing down – that’s when we’re lucky to have our family and friends’ support. My best friend is an angel, she’ll pick them up and take them to lunch, take them swimming etc.

Every day is a lesson. For example, I was in a girl band in the noughties and 2010s, and there was a lot of pressure on women to look a certain way. It definitely made me more conscious about the way I speak to my daughters, and the way others do. My mum walked in the house once and said: “Right, that’s it. I’ve been so bad recently, I’m going on a diet this week.” I just don’t want my kids to think that pleasure has to equate to punishing themselves on the other side of it. I would rather frame it as we’ve got to go to the dentist soon, so we need to be watching our teeth or focus on the health benefits of a rainbow plate versus anything visual. Like I said, I haven’t got the answers, I just deal with every situation as it arises.

For me, being a mother has really taught me to question my values and reevaluate my thoughts. I always teach my children to lead with kindness and put themselves in someone’s shoes: “Maybe that person’s done this because they felt like this,” – that sort of thing. I never want them to be short-sighted. And as I’m teaching them, it’s teaching me a different level of patience, kindness and empathy. I really want my children to know that you don’t ever know what someone else is going through. Ultimately, you hope for the best. It would be amazing if they were brain surgeons but in actuality, all you want is for them to be decent people.

Follow @RochelleHumes On Instagram & Visit MyLittleCoco.co.uk