An Inspiring Woman Reflects On Her Miscarriage Journey

To cope with trauma, you have to sit with it

Reflecting on those five years, I’ve realised that the only way I could heal my trauma was to move through it slowly and deliberately. There was no outrunning or leaping over it, and no way to avoid it. I had to wade through the mud, one painful step at a time. But eventually, I noticed the ground beneath my feet had dried, and each step became a little easier. I didn’t just wake up one day feeling like I was on the other side. Sometimes, it takes moments of deliberate reflection – like writing about it now – to truly appreciate how far I’ve come.

The right support is key

During those difficult years, I often wished that friends and family had simply acknowledged my pain without feeling the need to say the ‘right thing’ or offer solutions. I didn’t need to hear platitudes like, “Everything happens for a reason” or “At least you know you can get pregnant”. These well-meaning comments only deepened my sense of isolation and invalidated my grief. What I really needed was for them to hold space for my pain – to listen without judgment and to offer their presence, not their answers. Simple words like “I’m here for you” or “I can’t imagine how hard this is” would have meant so much more than attempts to fix what felt unfixable.

Some distraction is welcome 

Work surprisingly became a bit of a solace during my recurrent miscarriages. While I agree that the 12-week rule about waiting to announce your pregnancy until you’ve had your official scan often leads to pain and misunderstanding around baby loss, keeping the pregnancies to myself and having a space where I was treated normally and wasn’t expected to talk about the miscarriages was a relief. It gave me a sense of normality, a place where I could focus on something else, even if just for a little while. That said, going to work knowing I was carrying a baby with no heartbeat gave everything a surreal, almost distorted sense of reality. Sitting through meetings in that state felt deeply unsettling, as if I were detached from my own life. Telling a few trusted colleagues about my situation helped; it allowed me to take time off for medical procedures without having to explain too much, and provided me with some understanding during an otherwise isolating experience.

Trauma changes who you are

I believe trauma changes you at a fundamental level – it alters you in ways that feel almost woven into your DNA. I’m not the same person I was before, but would I change what happened? No. I’ve learned how incredibly resilient I am, and that even in moments when I feel like I have nothing left, I can still find the strength to pick myself back up. It's also made me more reflective. Why do some people endure so much more than others? Why are certain things so effortless for some, yet impossibly difficult for others? I’ve come to believe that we are meant to learn specific lessons in life. It’s the only way I’ve personally been able to make sense of it all.

It'll make you determined

When I say I wouldn’t change what happened, it’s because it transformed my life in ways I never imagined. After losing my fourth baby at 19 weeks, the hospital ran every test possible but found nothing, chalking it up to bad luck and telling me to keep trying. Knowing I had to do something different, I turned to my own research on PCOS, which I was diagnosed with at 19. I learned that women with PCOS often have poor egg quality, and I became determined to improve mine. That’s when I discovered Myo-inositol, a natural supplement shown to improve PCOS symptoms naturally, including egg quality. It works similarly to Metformin, but it was only available in powdered form at the time, which I often forgot to take. That’s when I had my lightbulb moment: to create an easier-to-take tablet version. If I hadn’t heard of Myo-inositol, I knew there must be thousands of other women out there who could benefit from it. While I was pregnant with my first son in 2016, we launched MyOva – a range of natural health supplements designed specifically for women with PCOS. The journey hasn’t been easy, but I truly feel like I’m finally doing what I’m meant to do.

Emotional & physical healing are different

The emotional and physical recovery after each miscarriage were vastly different for me. Physically, the recovery was often quicker, although the trauma my body went through was immense, especially after my later loss. I could feel my body starting to heal within weeks, but the emotional healing was much slower and far more complex. Emotionally, the wounds lingered much longer, and some days it felt like they might never heal. Each loss compounded the grief, and it took me years to even begin feeling like myself again. For most of those five years, it was like walking through a fog – some days were clear, while others felt unbearable. I didn't seek formal therapy right away, but over time I turned to various forms of support. Ultimately, it was finding purpose in the loss – through my work and connecting with other women facing similar struggles – that helped me the most.

There shouldn’t be a stigma 

Miscarriage is often surrounded by silence and stigma, which makes an already painful experience even harder. Society tends to expect women to move on quickly or keep their grief private, especially with the 12-week rule implying early losses aren’t significant. This creates a deep sense of isolation. For a long time, I found it difficult to share my own story due to it being too painful. It wasn’t until I started speaking openly that I realised how many women face the same pain. I believe we need to normalise conversations around miscarriage and fertility struggles. Miscarriage should not be hidden or minimised. We need more open dialogue, better workplace support, and greater access to mental health resources. By doing so, we can help women feel less alone and more empowered to share their stories and receive the care and understanding they deserve.

Women need better support

My experience with recurrent miscarriage profoundly shifted my perspective on women's health. Going through the immense grief and isolation of losing multiple pregnancies made me realise how little support and understanding there is for women facing similar challenges. It fuelled a deep desire in me to advocate for other women navigating hormonal health issues and fertility struggles. Through MyOva, I wanted to ensure that women had access to resources and supplements that could empower them to take control of their health, just as I had to when I discovered Myo-inositol. Through MyOva, I strive not only to provide practical solutions but also to create a supportive community where women feel seen, heard, and validated in their struggles. My goal is to help women feel less alone and more empowered in managing their health, especially when faced with challenges like PCOS, miscarriage and infertility.

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DISCLAIMER: Features published by SheerLuxe are not intended to treat, diagnose, cure or prevent any disease. Always seek the advice of your GP or another qualified healthcare provider for any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, exercise or other health-related programme.