Midlife Lessons: Model & Broadcaster Emma Willis
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On Business & Careers
Now that I’m in my late 40s, I worry less about whether I'm good enough. For a long time, I had imposter syndrome around my job. I always thought, ‘Why should I be here? I shouldn't be doing this.’ When I had kids, my whole perspective changed because I knew that if I could raise a human being, I could read an autocue. With time comes confidence, as well as reassurance from people you work with telling you that you are a valued member of the team.
I’m lucky to be working at a time when there’s a lot of great women on TV – especially in their 40s and 50s. There’s Tess Daly, Claudia Winkelman, Davina McCall… I don't want to miss anyone out, but there's a good bunch of us who are all good at our job. A lot of the shows that I've worked on also have lots of female senior team members. I used to struggle quite a lot in the beginning, not just because I felt like I shouldn't be there and I felt like an imposter, but because there were a lot of men around who were very confident, and I didn't really know how to navigate that very well. I’ve loved it when there have been more women around.
On Health & Wellness
When I started working in TV, I almost relaxed about the way I looked. I'd been a model for ten years and it was all about how you looked. When I started in telly, I could almost breathe a little bit. Ageing has never really bothered me from a number perspective – I almost feel like people take you a bit more seriously – but I’ve actually found my 40s a fairly difficult decade. I expected it to be the best time of my life, but it’s probably been when I’ve started to feel my most unsure. I felt like I disappeared a bit. It’s not illogical – especially when you consider how much your hormones change in your 40s. Luckily, there’s so much awareness around this now, so at least I feel like I’m not losing my mind. We’re doing a much better job at normalising it all.
There are several ways I look after myself now. For example, I really prioritise sleep. It's very fashionable to talk about that now, but in your 40s, among all the other changes, I think it’s so important. I also try to do a bit of a body scan at night just to switch my brain off. I also take a probiotic and I swear by the Absolute Collagen sachets – anything that can help my body from the inside out. I'm not really focused on what happens on the outside. I just want to be fit, strong and healthy. I love Reformer Pilates, boxing and strength training. I want strong muscles just in case my bones give up on me. It’s all about longevity.
On Fashion & Beauty
When it comes to beauty, I think I invest more now than ever before. I don't really wear make-up – if I've got a good mascara, I'm happy – but I buy a lot of creams and enjoy facials. I’m open to learning more too. I want to know how and why what works does, and why other things don’t. Right now, I’m really into the Absolute Collagen Deep Lift Day Cream.
I have got more comfortable with fashion over the years. Because I came from a fashion background as a model, I always felt like I had to have my finger on the pulse and look cool or be cool. But what I’ve learnt is you’re either cool or you're not. The one thing I love about this time in my life is I give less of a f*ck what people think. I just want to feel comfortable – I'm not wearing an outfit on a TV show to please anybody but myself. Trust me, I get plenty of messages on social media saying sack the stylist. But it’s hilarious because no one is making me wear anything.
@EmmaWillisOfficial
@EmmaWillisOfficial
On Money
My relationship with money has always been strange because I don't come from money. I’m from a very working-class family but now I have a well-paid job. So, I'm incredibly grateful and I try to share my money with my family, so that I can support them in any way they might need it. After all, they have supported me my whole life.
Money was never a priority when I was younger because we never had it. Now, I have it but the only thing that really concerns me is that my kids know the value of it. They’re growing up very differently to how I did, and I don’t want them to be spoiled. I want them to know what money is – that you have to earn it and that nothing should come easy.
On Friendships
I still have the same friends I made as a teenager or in my 20s. That’s probably because making friends as you get older is harder. I meet so many people where I think I’d love to be their friend but finding the time to invest in that relationship is harder because life is so busy. If you want to make new friends, it takes a lot of time and organisation.
The best thing about my old friends is that things rarely change. Maybe we haven't exchanged texts in six months, but when I see them, it's like we saw each other yesterday. That for me is true friendship. It's not holding your mates to account because you haven't seen them for three weeks. We all have busy lives and lots of stuff going on. My best friend lives in the US and sometimes we won't see each other for three years and maybe it's a year between texts. But when I see her, we just pick up where we left off.
On Motherhood
With each child, I've relaxed more into motherhood. I’m lucky to be able to say I’ve got three great kids. My son is 13 now and my eldest daughter is 15 and I was quite nervous about the teen years – especially because I still remember how it felt. The best way Matt and I have navigated it is to try to relate to them. So, if there’s ever a Kevin & Perry moody moment or crying because they can't do this or they can't do that, we just take ourselves back to how we felt in those moments and your hormones being all over the place.
I've also tried to explain to my kids how I am feeling too. I tell them their hormones might be sending them a bit funny, but I’m also a bit funny because I'm losing all of mine. It’s turned out to be a really good conversation to have because they understand me, and I understand them.
In your 40s, you might still be an active parent of young kids. But at the same time, your own parents are starting to really age and perhaps rely on you a bit more. That worry then starts to kick in. It’s a lot to navigate in addition to your marriage, your job and trying to figure out who you are at this stage of life.
On Life Advice & Daily Mottos
I've always been told to trust my gut and most of the time this has served me well. Even if it hasn’t sometimes, that's okay because those were learning experiences, and you usually learn not to do something again. Your intuition can tell you a lot, so it’s just about learning to tap into and listen to it. There have been times when I’ve thought I should just dive into something more without overthinking too much, but I’m always someone who’s erred on the side of caution – maybe that's something I'm trying to change as I get older. On a slightly lighter note, we also have a neon sign on our wall at home that says, ‘Don't Be A D*ck’. I love that – it’s kind of our family motto.
Emma Willis is an ambassador for Absolute Collagen, the UK’s number one collagen brand.
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