Your Guide To Good Masturbation

What, exactly, is happening when you masturbate?

“Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of the genitals, either directly or indirectly. As arousal builds, blood flow to the genitals increases: the clitoris becomes swollen and more sensitive, vaginal tissues become engorged, and natural lubrication usually increases. The pelvic floor muscles also become more active and may begin to contract rhythmically. During orgasm, a series of involuntary muscle contractions occurs, particularly around the pelvic floor and genitals. Sexual stimulation also activates the brain’s reward and pleasure pathways, prompting the release of chemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin. Endorphins can also contribute to the feelings of relaxation some people experience afterwards.” – Smita Sinha, consultant gynaecologist & founder of Serenity Women’s Clinic

How do you find your G-spot?

“The so-called G-spot isn’t a clearly defined anatomical structure in the way the clitoris is and researchers continue to debate exactly what it represents. It’s generally described as a sensitive area on the front wall of the vagina, a few centimetres inside, when you’re lying down. If you want to explore the area, you can use a clean finger to gently explore the front vaginal wall, paying attention to areas that feel particularly pleasurable or different in texture or sensitivity. It’s important to remember that not everyone finds this area pleasurable, and some people won’t notice any particular sensation from stimulating it – both are completely normal. For most people, the clitoris plays a much more significant role in sexual pleasure.” – Smita

Any tips for beginners?

“Take your time, build up slowly and try to be curious rather than goal-focused. Think of it as an opportunity to get to know yourself sexually, without putting pressure on yourself to achieve a particular outcome. Be open to exploring what feels good for you – and what doesn’t – and try different things. Remember, the biggest sex organ in the body is the brain, so feeling comfortable, relaxed and open can impact the experience. If you find it difficult to get your mind on board, think about what helps you switch off and get into the right headspace – whether that’s music, audio erotica or simply engaging your imagination and fantasy.” – Kate Moyle, sexual psychotherapist & sexual expert at LELO

Why do some people find masturbating more difficult?

“Difficulty reaching orgasm can have many causes, from not yet knowing what type of stimulation you enjoy to feeling self-conscious, distracted or unable to relax. Stress, anxiety, relationship difficulties, cultural attitudes towards sex and previous negative sexual experiences can all play a role. There can also be physical factors, including hormonal changes such as menopause, certain medications, vaginal dryness, pelvic-floor problems, pain conditions or vulval skin conditions such as lichen sclerosus. If penetration is uncomfortable or painful, there’s no need to include it – external stimulation can be just as pleasurable.” – Smita

Can masturbating better your mental health?

“Research suggests that masturbation is associated with a range of physical and psychological benefits. For example, frequent masturbation has been linked to higher self-esteem among women. From a psychosexual perspective, solo sex can also be a useful way to reconnect with your body after physical or emotional changes. Understanding what you enjoy and how your body responds can help make partnered sex more pleasurable too. Masturbation and orgasm have also been associated with pain relief, including headaches and migraines, as well as better sleep and reduced stress.”– Dr Angela Wright, clinical sexologist & advisor for sexual health brand Voy 

Could masturbating have physical health benefits?

“There are many studies showing a link between sexual and physical health, which makes sense when you consider that sexual sensation, arousal and orgasm all depend on the health of the blood vessels, nerves and tissues involved in the sexual response. Some research has even found that having around 100 orgasms a year is associated with increased life expectancy.” – Dr Angela

Any tips for getting into the right ‘head space’?

“The best thing you can do is take the pressure off. Don’t treat it like a performance, or worry about expectations and ‘shoulds’ – instead, give yourself space to feel comfortable and relaxed. Distraction, stress and anxiety can all get in the way of pleasure, so try to let go of any set expectations and focus on staying in the moment. Attention plays a big role in sexual experiences, and sometimes it helps to create a clear separation between the rest of your day and having time for yourself. If you’re finding it hard to switch off, try something that helps you change gears – have a shower, put your phone down or simply give yourself a few minutes to move from ‘on demand’ mode to ‘turned on’ mode.” – Kate

How can a tool or toy better the experience?

“The value of sex toys is that they can offer a different level of intensity and a more consistent sensation, which can make self-pleasure feel more intentional. You can also combine hands and toys as arousal builds, experimenting with what feels best for you. Ultimately, it comes down to personal preference but for some people who find self-pleasure or reaching orgasm challenging, a toy may offer a more reliable way to experience pleasure.”  – Kate

Any you recommend?

“If you’re trying sex toys for the first time, start with something simple, such as a bullet vibrator. Take your time exploring how it feels on different parts of your body and at different speeds and intensities. It’s really about thinking about the kind of pleasure and stimulation you’re interested in, then exploring the options from there. Some toys are designed for clitoral or internal G-spot stimulation, while others offer a combination of both. Size is largely a matter of personal preference. If you’re new to toys, starting with something smaller or simpler can give you the chance to work out what you enjoy before exploring other options. That said, some people find a sense of fullness pleasurable, so a larger toy may suit them better. The key is to choose what feels comfortable and right for you.”  – Kate

Is masturbating good for your vaginal health?

“Sexual arousal increases blood flow to the genital tissues, while orgasm causes the pelvic-floor muscles to contract. Regular sexual stimulation may help support blood flow to the genital area and maintain the elasticity and comfort of vaginal tissues. Arousal also naturally increases lubrication, which can reduce friction and make sexual activity more comfortable. However, masturbation isn’t a treatment for vaginal dryness, particularly when it’s related to hormonal changes such as perimenopause or menopause, or to other gynaecological conditions.” – Smita

Is there such a thing as too much masturbation?

“There’s no universal level or number that counts as ‘too much’ and ideas about what’s excessive can often come from social expectations. If you’re worried about how often you’re masturbating, it’s more useful to ask: ‘What impact is this having on me?’ Compulsive sexual behaviours, or what someone might define as ‘too much’, tend to become a concern when they start interfering with day-to-day life, relationships or partnered sex.”– Kate